i feel frustrated right now. I wonder who is going to read this.

I have big thought in my mind but when I transfer thoughts that are so big that they circle all around my head to paper, then I only get the little chunk of that thought that happens to be passing through my mind at the moment I pen it. Leaving my thoughts on paper all disgruntled and disorganized.

I don't, therefore, know if this post will be offensive. comprehensive, pensive...

In fact. I think it's over. I'm going to come back later when my thoughts have had enough incubation to congeal together, making a more dense, compacted thought. When you compact my thought it gets smaller, fits easier in my brain, and actually comes out as a something you can understand - because you're getting the whole thought and not just whiffs of it. sometimes.

I'll be back.

(but I'm frustrated, that I don't know if i'm creative or not. I don't know if I'm doing things right or not. I don't know if the reason I'm like the only person in the lab without a big part in TAP is because they've given up on me or I had too much to do. Am I really good or do I suck? I can't seem to figure it out. and I think it's because I've let myself take a direction in life that isn't right for me.)